


Evening Affairs

by Semi_problematic



Series: Boy Next Door [5]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: B a r l e y, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Incest, Jealousy, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-04 19:03:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15153623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semi_problematic/pseuds/Semi_problematic
Summary: Across town Enids phone buzzed and the screen lit up with a message reading:"I always go after older men because they are more experienced. I always think they are more mature and kind. But they aren't. No matter how fucking old they are, men are dicks."





	Evening Affairs

**Author's Note:**

> Carl is 15 about to turn 16.  
> There is no real incest, just Carl thinking about it and worrying.

Rick stood in the front yard, looking up and down the front of the house. The flower beds had gotten torn up by the neighbors dog and Lori told Rick if they weren't fixed by the time she got back she was calling the pound. "Your mother needs to realize that these are just flowers..." He rubbed the sweat on his forehead off with the back of his hand. "It's not that big of a deal. We just need to push all the dirt back and pat it down. Pick up the remains." 

"Don't call them remains," Carl made a face and gave a final tug to to the gloves he wore. "It makes it sound like they're people-" 

"That's how your mother is treating them," Carl wanted to tell Rick that Lori treated the flowers kinder than she ever treated them, but he didn't. He just wanted his dad to see that Lori didn't really love him. He was trapped in a loveless marriage and Rick deserved more than that. "Just help me do this and I'll buy you that new game you want, okay?" He brushed the hair off of Carls forehead, kissing it. "Thank you." 

Carl smiled up at him. He truly loved his dad. Rick was a good man. He owned his mistakes and tried his best to keep everyone happy. When Carl was younger he used to climb into his father's lap and tell him how much he admired him. That stopped when he turned twelve and suddenly being the cops son was annoying and weird. He stopped loving and praising his dad just to make friends who ended up leaving him. Carl wondered if Rick missed the compliments too. "You're a really good husband, dad." 

"I try," Rick smiled. Carl wondered when he started to age. Rick used to be clean shaven and have bright eyes. Now he had wrinkles and bags, and the bright eyes had turned into a dim flickering light. "Your mom deserves it, Carl." You deserve it too, Carl wanted to shout, you deserve kindness and love just as much as she does, maybe even more. "Did you have a good day today? Read any new books? Win a game?" 

Carl shrugged. "Kinda. I just swam all day..." He got down on his knees and started to dig at the "remains", picking out all the petals and stems, placing them in a neat pile on the sidewalk. "Enid said she can make it to my party, but I still think she's gonna be the only person I'm inviting. I don't have any close friends that aren't adults." Growing up Carl was mostly around adults. His dad's coworkers and his mom's friends. He never really learned how to get along with kids his own age. It worried Lori, but Rick just said he was mature. "You're gonna be off for it, right?" 

"Of course," Rick grinned. "You're more important than any extra hours I can get." He went to reach out and ruffle Carls hair but stopped. "Sorry," Rick was so kind. It made Carls heart ache. He deserved someone who loved him. Someone who didn't expect him to work extra hours to pay gor expensive and unneeded handbags. "I'm glad you got Enid. Shes a real good friend. Beats all the other ones that bullied you."

"Shes pretty great." When Carl came out, Enid was the only one to kept being his friend. Shes a lesbian so it sort of made sense, but all the other small town homophobes decided it was their job to not only stop being his friend but also make his life a living hell. They bullied him in and out of school, even going as far as spray painting "faggot" across their garage in big, red letters. Rick arrested them all and charged them with every damn thing he could. Then he spent the next two days painting over the word. "You are too, dad. And I'm glad mom might be having another baby." 

Carl and Rick rarely talked when she was around. They could talk about light stuff, the fake, easy stuff that Lori always wanred to focus on. Perfect son. Perfect husband. Perfect house. Perfection seemed to be the only thing that shut her up but no matter how hard they tried, no matter how hard they lied, it was never good enough. Carl was happy they may get another child, but he was also worried Lori would ruin them. 

"Me too." Rick dug through the dirt then pat it all back down while making sure to avoid any of the flowers that survived the dog attack. "I'm hoping its another boy, your mom says she thinks it may be a girl though." The smile that had been on Ricks face the entire time started to fade. "Carl... you.." Rick shook his head. "You can't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you?" 

"I won't, dad." They never had secrets. But now they had one. Negan. Carl knew he couldn't tell his dad. He wished he could though. Keeping secrets from him made Carl feel like he was just like Lori. Taking advantage of Ricks kind heart. "You know I would nev-" 

"Your mom and I haven't had sex in months." Rick blurted out. He stated at the ground, his hands buried in dirt up to his wrists. "We try, I try, but it never works out. She says she isn't in the mood and thats okay bu-"

"Are you asking me for sex advice?" Carl laughed. "Because I'm barely 16 dad and the sex ED at my school is beyond educational. It's just a waste-" 

"The baby isn't mine." Rick swallowed, beads of sweat dripped down his face and onto the dirt beneath him. "If it was your mom would have to be four months in and she isn't. This is new, Carl." He shook his head. His arms were shaking and it broke Carls heart. Rick knew Lori had been cheating. "Now, don't hate your mother for this, we all make mistakes," This wasn't a mistake. Sure, she didn't choose to fall in love with Shane but she sure as hell didn't have to go after it. "But your mother has been cheating on me." 

Carl thought back to the day before when Lori brought up being late. Rick said their last time had been a month ago. Then Lori said nothing was for sure yet. Did his lie catch her off guard? Was he lying for Carl? Or was he lying for himself? "Dad, her cheating on you isn't a mistake. You need to talk to her about it-" 

"I don't blame her for falling out of love with me." Rick sounded broken. He had loved her since they met. He had been faithful and loving the entire time. Rick deserved someone who returned the favor. "I just wish it didn't happen. I want her happy..." Rick blinked his eyes, forcing the build up of tears to finally stream down his cheeks. "I just wish she was happy with me and not... not some other guy." 

"Dad," Carl wiped his dirt covered hands on his jeans and cupped Ricks cheeks, rubbing his thumbs against his cheekbones. "You didn't do anything wrong. You are an amazing husband, and an amazing dad and an amazing cop. You're amazing. And just because she doesn't love you doesn't mean no one else loves you." Carl took a deep breath before wrapping his arms around Rick and hugging him tight. "I love you a lot, dad." 

Rick wrapped his arms around Carl, keeping his wrists bent so the dirt wasn't rubbing off on the back of his shirt. "I love you, Carl. I love you so, so much." Carl wondered if the reason Rick wasn't mad was because Lori gave Carl to him. Rick always said Carl make everything worth it. But did a fifteen year old failed marriage stop that. Rick pulled away and grabbed his shirt, wiping his eyes off with the collar. "I'm sorry I just did that. You're my son, I shouldn't dump my feelings on you." He stood up and walked into the house before Carl could stop him. "Go do whatever you want. I'll handle the garden."

Carl sat back on his heels, looking up and down the road. The sun was starting to set, the sky turning into different shades of orange and pink. It was beautiful, really, but Carl couldn't focus on it. He was too worried about his father. The good man who only got bad things. A son who was born jail bait and a wife who could hardly love anyone other than herself. He felt guilty for it, but then again Carl felt guilty for a lot of things. He stood up and made his way into the house, walking towards the bathroom.

Rick stood in there with water dripping down his face. His hair was beginning to curl because of how sweaty he was. He looked beautiful, but Carl always thought that. Below him was water that was a dark brown with small chunks of dirt swimming around in it. Rick turned and looked at him. He smiled. Rick always smiled. "Hey," He mumbled. "Come to check on your old man?" His chest was heaving and his shirt was soaked through. Carl tried not to pay attention but he couldn't help it. 

Carl remembered hearing some boys in his class laugh about Sigmund Freud and one of his theories. That daughters grew up with their first love, their first lust being their father. That the daughters would feel a need to compete with the mothers. Could that work for boys, too? Was that why Carl hated Lori so much? And was always trying to love Rick better, love him harder than she ever did? Carl swallowed, forcing the idea from his brain. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm gonna help you with the flowers." 

Rick smiled even wider. "What did I ever do to deserve you?" Nothing, Carl wanted to say, I am nothing but bad and all I do is make your life harder. "I'm gonna get us some water but you can head back outside." He wiped his hands off on his pants, his hands already picking up more dirt and grime. He reached out and cupped Carls cheek some, causing Carls breath to hitch. His thumb rubbed against part of his cheek, smearing away some dirt. "Now you can go." 

The heat made it hard to breath once Carl stepped out of the air conditioned house. The sun was almost completely gone, barely visible from their front yard. The pinks and oranges were already beginning to fade. Carl tucked his hair behind his ears and walked down the sidewalk, wincing when the lights on the front of their house turned on and blinded him. He rubbed his eyes and sunk to his knees, jumping when he heard a car door slam closed.

Next door, at Negans house, a woman in a cherry red convertible had pulled into his driveway abd parked. She had long blonde hair that was sleek and straight. The dress she wore was so tight Carl was shocked she could breath. Her heels made a loud clicking noise as she walked down the driveway, flipping her hair over her shoulder. In her hand was a small hand bag that looked like something out if Lori's closet. Rick and Negan must have the same taste in women, bitches. Carl tilted his head to the side and watched her as she climbed up the stairs of his front porch and knocked on the door. Negan walked out in seconds and welcomed her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Carl was in the middle of killing her with his eyes when Rick came back out. 

"Hey," Rick grinned, following Carls eyes up to the woman. "Oh, yeah. Thats Amy." He said it as if Amys existence ruined all the plans Carl had. He set the water down on the sidewalk and got down on his knees, picking up one of the dead flowers that only had one or two petals clinging to it. "I think we should just set the ugly ones in the back. That way the garden doesn't look empty but the ugly ones are hidden." 

"I didn't know he was dating." Carl mumbled, his eyes glued to the house. "And that car is so ugly. And her heels are obnoxious. Who would wanna date someone who makes a loud noise with every step they take?" He shook his heas to himself. "Christ. Why does every man in the world fall for the most annoying women alive?" 

"You're young and you're not into girls." Rick was already wrist deep in the dirt again. "You don't understand. You don't need to, okay? Adult dating is a lot different than kid dating-" Rick froze, looking at Carl with a smirk. "And I know you aren't a kid anymore, you don't need to lecture me on it. Theres just a huge difference. Hes 50. You're days away from being sixteen. He could be your dad-" 

"I'm gonna go ask him if he wants any water." Carl stood up and grabbed his water bottle, walking down their sidewalk and across their driveway into the small patch of grass that stood between each house. "I'll be back in a few minutes, don't worry!" He called to Rick who was only staring at him. Carl could feel his eyes on him. He jogged across the driveway and down his sidewalk, taking the stairs up to his front door two at a time. He knocked on the door, crossing his arms and backing up. 

It took Negan a few seconds to open the door, but when he did he did it slowly. Torn up jeans hung from his hips and a black t-shirt clung to his body. His hair was slicked back and his scruff was cut low to his skin. He sighed when his eyes landed on Carl, leaning against the door frame. He opened up the storm door and held it open with his feet. "Kid, what do you want?"

"You didn't tell me you were dating." Carl snapped, closing the gap between them within seconds. Rick could see it but Carl knew he wouldn't think about it. Rick liked ignoring the really bad things like his shit wife and messy son. He loved Carl regardless and didn't see the problem with it. Carl saw millions of problems with it. He slammed the water bottle into his chest, the cap coming off and pouring all over the front of Negans shirt. "Why the hell didn't you tell me you were dating?" 

Negan looked seconds from snapping. Like at any moment he was going to slam Carl against the fencing around his front porch and tear him apart. Carl wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. "Look, kid. You didn't really give me time yesterday or the night before to tell you about my dating habits. Not that I would tell you. You're a child-" He sighed, his anger seemingly leaving his body. "And you're a child with a harmless crush. I'm gonna keep it that way because I don't need to stalking me and pouring water all over me every time I have someone over."

Carl was shaking, his hands balled up into fists. He wanted to punch Negan and scream at him and rip his hair out and kiss him all at once. It wasn't fair that Negan had other people and it wasn't fair that Negan wasn't weak for him anymore. Yesterday Negan would have jumped at the idea of Carl coming over but now he was acting like Carl was some creepy teenager. 

"Negan?" The bitch, Amy, stepped up behind him. She gasped when she saw the water dripping from his shirt like it was blood or something. How could Negan stand her? "I'll go get you a new shirt, okay?" When Negan nodded in agreement she pulled him into a kiss. Then she looked at Carl like she was mocking him. "Whos this?" 

"The neighbors son. He thought it would be funny to prank me and get me soaked but he didn't know I was on a date." Negan pecked her lips before nudging her away. "Hes gonna leave in a few minutes. Don't worry." Negan talked about him like he was some pesky kid. Someone who was on his earth to inconvenience him. Once Amy was gone Negan turned back to Carl. "Carl, you really need to leave. Go back over and help your dad. He wouldn't be happy knowing that this is whats going on." 

"But..." Carl wanted to scream and cry and break something. He felt jealous and humiliated. Negan was so into him. What changed? Were girls really so much better than him? "She looks like she's twenty. She's old enough to be your kid!" 

"And you aren't?" Negan crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. "Carl, you're acting like we're dating. We aren't. I'm not your little boyfriend. I'm your babysitter and I was paid to be there. You're a sweet kid and you're hot, you know that. But I'm not looking to date some underage kid. Especially not one who comes over and throws a fit when I go on dates." He looked down at Carl, biting the inside of his cheek. "Go. Home." 

Before Carl could speak Amy came back out and handed Negan a shirt. She smiled at Carl and waved. "It was so nice meeting you." She looked like a Barbie doll. All fake parts and made to be played with. If Negan was looking for a toy, why not pick a new one? He was younger than her. Carl knew that Negan wasn't looking to date. He never was.

Carl turned around and walked down the side walk, kicking the empty plastic water bottle into the grass. He hunched over and blinked away the tears, his hair falling across his face. "Wish I could say the same," He grit out, running across the driveway and up into their yard. He wiped his eyes and smiled at Rick. "I'm back." He mumbled, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. "Just let me send Enid a text." 

Carl unlocked his phone and tapped on his most recent chat that had in big bold words at the top "Bad Bitch." He started to type the message before hitting send and stuffing his phone back in his pocket. Across town Enids phone buzzed and the screen lit up with a message reading: 

"I always go after older men because they are more experienced. I always think they are more mature and kind. But they aren't. No matter how fucking old they are, men are dicks."


End file.
